this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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