Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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