I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
