It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
