I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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