He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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