He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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