my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Randomize
