Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
barbara walters just said penis...
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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