OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
