you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
