Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
