My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
