What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
