I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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