Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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