Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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