Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm too high and old for this...
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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