Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
