Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
