Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
