Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
