She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
