so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
