you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I am mentally ready for anal.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
