Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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