I cockslap morals
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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