would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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