Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
