Your dad touched me again.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
