Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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