my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
