he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
