but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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