NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
