is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
