First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
