did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
