Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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