Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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