He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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