Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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