I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
