absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
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