I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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