Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
