judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
