I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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