wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
she looked like the before picture.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
