Umm I'm too high to move.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
