Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
