Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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