I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
