and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
