If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
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