I hate your face
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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