I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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