Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
