My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
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