I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
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