she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize