Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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