i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
