So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
