so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
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